aaaand we're back

After a looooong weekend of self-pity, I've finally found my way back to the surface. I am a terribly emotional person. I'm not sensitive--meaning: I don't get offended easily or cry for no reason. But there are certain things and people in my life that are very important to me and when those things or persons are threatened, I lose it. This weekend I felt as those my law school aspirations and my relationship were on shaky ground. And I cried. For days. I didn't eat or sleep or shower ( hawt right?) For the the entire weekend. I went home to see my mom. I also went to my father's house, because he was feeling pretty low himself. And I tried so hard to let go of all those feelings of loss and anxiety. At 6 am I jumped out of bed and threw some sweats on and drove an hour (from my mom's house) to LoMu's apartment. Luckily, he heard his phone ringing and buzzed me into his apartment. And I cried and he held me and I apologized and he consoled me and forgave me for being such an emotional wreck. And we fell asleep. And when I woke up, it was all better. You see, blogosphere, that is why I love this man. He is the single best thing in my life. Don't get me wrong, I have my own life and my priorities are set, but he gives me the strength and courage to pursue my dreams. He has my best interests in mind, and I would give anything just to make sure that he is safe and happy.

LoMu's birthday is on tuesday but we're celebrating both tomorrow and tuesday. I'm excited to spend this time with him and to spoil him with food, liquor and presents. I will not post again until Wednesday or Thursday. And then not again until after the Inauguration. Hopefully, I'll have lots of pictures for you all.


Abrazos y besos,

Loco.

Ol' Loco and the Entire Loco Clan

Christmas with my family is always interesting. This year it was quiet and easy. A rarity. My parents are divorced but they live down the street from each other. Literally. My oldest brother, LoBro #1, lives with my mom. He has since he left College four or five years ago. My other brother, LoBro #2 is married with a son, Lil Loco. I love my nephew. He's possibly one of the most important people in my life. Lil Loco's mom, my sister in law, was my brother's highschool sweetheart. They reconnected after a year away at school and Lil Loco happened. So LoBro #2 put college on hold and decided to be a family man. Me and him have our issues, but I'm proud of him, he's doing his best.

Anywho, my dad, Papa Loco, invited himself over for Christmas breakfast and dinner. He stayed long enough to sallow his food. Me and my dad have never really gotten along. More on that later.

LoBro #1 spent the entire day in his room. But that's normal for him. He's extremely anti-social and introverted. But he's a sweetheart when you really get to know him.

LoBro #2 came over after dinner with Lil Loco. He's the only person Ol' Loco bought presents for this year. That's fine. Thats the way it should be. We had our time. But Ol' Loco is ridic. She bought him a 19" Flat Screen TV/ DVD combo. He's 2.5. He's not even potty trained yet but he has a nicer TV than I do. I'm bitter.

I slept in today. I stayed up late watching HBO On Demand and talking to LoMu on the phone. I love him so much. He needs a better job though, one that doesn't require him to work on every major holiday.

It was a good day. I haven't really been filled with Christmas cheer this year. Not that anything bad has happened, its just been a trying year. I'm sure you all can relate in some way or another. But today was decent. Now, I'm going to drive 45 minutes back to my apartment in the City, crack open my Jim Beam and wait for my man. Till tomorrow.


Abrazos y besos,
Loco.

The "Classic" First Post

I wanted to call my blog: "My Mom Thinks I Make Horrible Decisions-But I Call It Living". But that was just entirely too long. So I figured I'd just stick to the important part. Because although my mom DOES think I'm the world's worst decision maker, it doesn't really bother me. I know-- in the end-- I will be wiser for it. That's if I survive it.

I have to admit, I'm not sure what I want this blog to be. Or even what I want it to be about. But right now I feel like there is so much "grey area" or uncertainty in my life. And no one else seems to understand. So if you stumble across this blog, I hope that you can understand that I'm just not sure yet, but hopefully this will shape itself.

With that said.

About three years ago, I decided to go to Law School. I don't remember why, or what prompted this decision. But it seemed like the right one to make at the time. I mean, my mom (from here on she will be known as Ol' Loco) even agreed with it, how could I possibly go wrong? At the time I was a Sophomore in college. I attended small liberal arts college in Massachusetts. I had just quit the basketball team and was experiencing myself, as a student without the "athlete" attached for the very first time. And I decided that I wanted to be a Lawyer.

Fast forward to 2008.

I graduated from college, somewhere in the middle of my class, and was accepted to a tier 1 law school, that -- like me-- is ranked somewhere in the middle.

I didn't care though, I was in Law School and I was back in the city of my birth. And that's all that mattered to me, regardless of what my well-meaning but completely overbearing mother ( and aunt) believed. Right now, I'm halfway through my first year. And its been pretty un-nerving. Not only because its really hard and exhausting, but because being out of college and preparing for a career have forced me to think about my future, in frightening detail.

Let's be honest. I was, and somwhat still am, a party girl. I like to get glammed up, go out and get a little tipsy and party wth my friends. Atleast, thats who I was three-four months ago. Recently, I've been a relative homebody, managing to get out atleast once a week to down whiskey sours and have awkward run-ins with old highschool friends. I live with my ex-girlfriend. Yes, you read correctly. My ex-GIRLfriend. But I wouldn't say I'm gay, just sexually uninhibited. Plus love chooses us. We don't choose it. We'll call her "Sano". Because she could not deal with my insane locosity. We broke up about a month ago but have remained friends and roommates. Shortly "after" (this in quotes because I have a habit of "hedging my bets/ overlapping" when ending a relationship, so by after I mean during. Sorry Sano. My heart wants what it wants) I rekindled a romance with my best friend and high school sweetheart. We'll just call him Loco Muchacho or "LoMu" for short. Its really frightening when you realize that " the One" was right there all along. More on him and the perfect union that is "us", later.

I'm unemployed and sick of school already, but madly in love and looking forward to whatever life brings my way. In extra loco fashion, as it usually does.
Hate to be a tease but I'm going to wrap this up because its almost Christmas and I'm at my Mom's house. If I find the time, I'll post more tomorrow. Stay tuned for post 1.5.

Abrazos y besos,
Loco.